Encouragement -- You Talkin' to Me?

The end of winter is upon us, and the main work in the garden right now is figuring out what all has made it through the hard winter, and what to do to encourage them to not only survive but to actually thrive. For some plants that has meant transplanting to a new, more nurturing location. For some that meant cutting off its dead wood, pulling up the weeds at its feet, and giving another layer of mulch to keep it from drying out later this summer. For some that has meant to do nothing but talk to them and tell them how much I appreciate their existence.

That's pretty much how we need to treat people, too. Through the years, I've learned is that you usually see what you're looking for; but you often hear the loudest what you don't want to hear, or what you hope isn't true.

One thing I am growing acutely aware of is the power of our words, especially our spoken words. God's Word says, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." People can actually hear your heart speak through your words. So: What's been coming out of your heart? It also says, "Your words produce life, or your words produce death. It's your choice." Another thing I'm starting to learn about is the reality of choice. We always have a choice.

I've heard that people will sometimes remember what you did, often remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel. How are your words making people feel? But I'm just saying what I think is the truth, you say. But how are you making them feel?

Encouragement is often a precious commodity these days, as everyone seems to want to save their praises for perfection. In the meantime, criticism is abundant. You shouldn't have done it that way, implies: You should've done it my way. You didn't do it good enough implies: I could've done it better.

News break! Everybody's doing the best they can with what they've got at the time. If you think they can do better, rather than criticize their performance, encourage their efforts. If they can't do better, at least appreciate their risk of embarrassment from your disapproval.

Paul said to speak "only what is helpful for building others up... that it may benefit those who listen." Jesus said, "By your words, you will be justified... or condemned." It's your choice.

A clear guide for helpful speaking:

Before you say anything, ask yourself these 3 questions:

Is it true? (in God's eyes and not just your or someone else's personal opinion)
Is it necessary? (and not just to hear yourself talk or to impress others with how much you think you know)
Is it kind? (how does it make them feel)

I have a collection of Katy-isms that I've gathered over the years. One of them is: What someone says about you says more about them, than it says about you. That's hard to remember sometimes, but it sure can make you feel better if someone has hurt your feelings.

I want to say to all the plants in our little garden and to all the readers of my little blog: Thank you for being there! Spring is just around the corner!